JOHNA
Johna Rivers, covered in gold and diamonds---an image that inverts her personality for the whole world to see how she really shines. The pose of this portrait was inspired by a Michael Jordan photograph where he wears his 6 championship rings---an accomplishment of his that is dwarfed by Johna's brightness.
Johna comes from a family that can not live without music. Every day they shared, Johna remembers the sounds of their favorite tracks filling the air, no matter where they found themselves.
Johna started rapping at a young age and made it work despite all the obstacles that stood in her way. Even pouring her love for music to create a rap group with some of her cousins. Johna’s earliest memories of her brothers were of them using their hands to create beats on tables and freestyling during all hours of the night. She didn’t mind losing sleep if it meant jamming out a little later than the night before. Music always found its way to Johna, and despite her giving a lot of the credit to being surrounded by people who shared the same passion, she has put in countless years of work to grow as an artist. Johna is always ready to make the next move with her music.
Johna was in the 9th grade when she got her first kick at a music collaboration. Her classmate, Serena, was a singer and approached Johna with a proposal. She knew Johna enjoyed music as much as she did, and so she asked Johna to write a verse to one of her existing songs. Johna admits it was a bit intimidating, especially because “Serena could REALLY sing!” Serena was so impressed by Johna's verse, she decided to keep the updated version of the song with Johna’s lyrics in it. This pushed Johna to go beyond just creating music for herself. It was time to get in the studio and share her talent and message with the world.
“WHEN I STARTED, I MADE PROJECT BANGERS FOR THE HOOD!”
When everyone in the neighborhood started to hear about Johna through conversations and snippets of her music, doors started to open. Many welcomed her into their homes and studios, excited to share their spaces with her. Johna was ready to work with her people, her community. They admired her flow and knew she had something important to say.
Excited, she jumped at the opportunity but quickly learned she never wanted to do that again. She was ghosted after her first recording session. They even kept her music! Johna learned her lesson and took it as a sign to start recording on her own, in her own space. “Man, they were some good hits! You know what, they probably still listen to them today!” It left her traumatized. “I never wanted to record in anyone’s studio after that!” Johna set up her own studio in the comfort of her space, her room. She had control over who could step into the space that was so sacred to her. Invitation only. Exclusive. Although she was upset that we she was robbed, she admits this meant she was doing something right. She didn’t expect to receive praise in such a harmful way, but “it was the biggest compliment.”
Johna uses music to tell the stories of her people. Her neighborhood. “I saw people struggling in all walks of life - as mothers, as teenage mothers – it was important for me to take these stories, these feelings - and translate them into lyrics.” She wanted to let her people know they are seen. They are heard. Something that was missing from her life while experiencing the foster care system. Her push to make music was always for her people that struggle on a day-to-day basis. They deserved the acknowledgment and so much more.
“It’s always therapeutic to reflect on everything. I was able to release thoughts I had about my community and the people around me. I lived in the projects. There was so much to see and even more going on. I was there until the age of 18 and then I became homeless.” Johna wrote about her own experiences, fading in and out of a shared struggle and an even more common goal: to get out.​ “It was a survival game. I survived. It gave me peaks.”
Johna kept music with her during hard times, it being the only thing she really looked forward to on her really hard days. Loving music was more than just listening to a song. She had a burning desire and purpose to create music. It was all at the same time: for her, her community, and for her people.
Johna is always working towards being a better version of herself. It never stops for her. Everyone who reads her words or watches her performances instantly recognizes the work it took to deliver her message in such a creative and admirable way.
Performing makes up a huge part of Johna’s life. One would think it comes naturally, but in addition to mastering her craft as a song writer, she has put in endless hours working on delivery and performance. She is always looking for ways to grow as a performer.
This great accomplishment, Johna credits, a spiritual awakening that left a lifetime impact and influence on her life. It changed who she is, from a performer that was running with anxiety and weight, to a more confident and focused individual. She is forever thankful for the organizations and people who helped her grow into this performer. “I learned how to project and annunciate words, how to place emphasis on words I want my audience to remember, and when to take a beat.” Constructive criticism helped her elevate as an artist. “I’ve always been good at receiving this feedback, even when I don’t want to hear it. I take what works for me and apply it.” A tell of a true artist on a path of healing, reflecting on all the good and all of the mistakes, equally---never hiding behind an excuse.
“I was born on my grandma’s couch and she has been an important part of my life ever since. She was my second mom.” Johna would call both her mother and grandma, mom. They always told her she couldn’t just shout “mom” when she needed something. They always looked after Johna. The best way she could capture the importance both women had on her life was by mashing them under the same title: MOM. ​
Johna finally gave her grandma a new name without diminishing the special touch “mom” had to it---Big Momma. “It was funny because when I got upset at my mom, I would run to big Momma. I would always switch places, depending on what I needed/wanted and who was more lenient with it. Sometimes it was my mom. Sometimes it was my Big Momma.” Johna glows as she shares the love she felt from the two.
“It was always up when I moved in with Big Momma. She never told me no, neither of my mom’s ever told me I couldn’t do something. They of course expressed their fear and concern with some of my decisions, as expected. But no matter how crazy or wild of an idea I shared, they always reminded me, yes, yes you can. No matter how wild. They never made any of my dreams feel too big. My mom and big momma always bragged about me. They are my number one supporters.”
Big momma had a huge influence on Johna’s music journey. Her kids loved music just as much as Johna and motivated her to create, to never give up. The house was more of a studio than a home. People always filled up the space, making beats and singing in all rooms at all hours of the day. The tools needed to create music were always accessible. It was easy to stay motivated.
The universe in some way, always put music on her path, always, someway, somehow. It was inevitable. Not on the basic level of oldies playing in the background while cleaning, but to the extreme where you could never walk through the house and experience silence. There was always music either blasting from a speaker, or pouring out of the mouths of one of her family members. Her brothers were always freestyling or banging on something with no intent to break it, but to create a beat that’ll move anyone. There was no place she’d rather be than Big Momma's house. ​
Johna has multiple processes for writing her music. It's best described as a free form of daily streams of consciousness---in other words, as she lives her life, the universe passes these lines through her. And when blessed with a line that sticks, “Oh that’s a bar. This could make a cool intro! Let’s see how this sounds.”
Johna has recently started testing out a mix of spoken word and rap. Starting this writing process with a simple question, “Have I been going through something or someone I love is going through something? Let me write about it.” Sometimes she flexes her creative muscles and works to fit the spoken word into rap like a puzzle by breaking it into sections. She locks them in and surprises herself when the piece fits. It flows. It’s a refreshing mix on her spoken word and emphasized feelings. All sang over the coolest upbeat rhymes.
Johna approaches her work with her full vulnerability on display in her lyrics. Never holding back on what she feels or wants her listeners to know. She is constantly coming up with lines and always keeps notebooks around her just in case, one of those bars pop up. This detail allows her to capture everything she’s thinking and feeling, even in the most unexpected moments. This part pen-on-paper process has added stacks of notebooks to her room, where she now has lots of fun trying to remember which notebook holds the perfect line she wrote when filling up her gas, or waiting in line to order her food. “I know I wrote that down somewhere!” as she flips through notebook after notebook. Some of Johna’s notebooks are barely holding onto the remaining pages, with no cover page and rusty springs that are about to give up. No matter what they look like on the outside, and to the outside world, these notebooks are priceless to Johna. This many notebooks might sound overwhelming, but Johna finds herself revisiting these when she needs inspiration or wants to relive feelings and moments. They are her personal archive, a space where she won't ever forget the memories she wants to hold onto, where no system can ever remove her again from the knowledge she is owed.
Johna turns to the catalogue and archives of other great artists to better herself during her writing process. Some artists that continue to inspire Johna are J Cole, Lil-Wayne and Tupac. “Lil-Wayne is so creative. His lines will have you thinking for days, even 10 years later, I have my moments. It clicks! I love the shock value. It confuses people a bit, but I think that makes music sometimes.” J Cole and Tupac have very admirable storytelling techniques that Johna closely studies when listening. Tupac emphasizes certain words and lines in his music, bringing out character and emotion. They all influence her writing. She even finds herself freestyling over some of their most popular song instrumentals. Till this day, she admires these artists and has been told some of her songs resemble their style. This is the greatest compliment. She wants her music to provide the same value and healing her favorite artists had on her.
“I’m never changing who I am. I’m a powerhouse performer, not just a ghetto black girl. I can articulate words too!” Johna has performed in many spaces: graduation events, open mics, and community spaces. She is a different person when on stage. “It’s really an out-of-body experience. I forget where I’m at and just let the words flow.” She grounds herself by imaging herself performing her music back in the projects she was raised in, feeling like she is just speaking directly to her people. It's a reminder to not feel worried when she's doing it all for her community.
“My audience always lets me know how I did. Standing ovations, lingering claps, cheering and contagious smiles. But for so long, I didn’t know how to receive all of this. This praise. I had to learn to accept joy. I’m in therapy now. I’m learning how to sit with joy and feel good. It’s easy to sit with trauma, pain, disappointment, and regret. I’m learning to process joy and just sit with it.” Johna is not trying to only be known as a humble performer that should be happy with the difficult re-livings she has on stage---she has re-approached herself and the praise she wants her words to receive. Her self-reflection through therapy and music have brought her music a new goal, to bring attention to the joy that happens during and after the struggle, "It’s important to talk about what one has gone through but when you’ve done that part, you want to show them it will get beautiful."
Johna's work is centering all of her identities, becoming her most vulnerable in order to obtain the most amount of healing from her music making process. “Foster care comes up naturally in my music and I always make it a mission to include it. Foster care changed my life. It also changed my mom’s life.” Johna's approach to the topic of child welfare is complicated, doing something that not many do when speaking about foster care. She keeps her mom in mind and recognizes the damage it can do on both ends. The kids and the parents. She is aware she isn’t the only one hurting. Her mom lost the most precious thing in her life and Johna feels an obligation to speak on what happens to the other person that also loses that day.
The loss and confusion that come from entering the system, like it does for so many others, had an enormous impact on Johna's relationship with herself. Johna always found herself over excelling in hopes of someone stepping up to let her know she is doing good. Always doing something in hopes of someone noticing.
In a new turn for herself, she wants to be the voice so many foster youth need. She knows how much of a difference it can make and wants to be the one to make the move for her community. Johna needed that same voice when she was growing up. “We very often find ourselves over excelling because we want so badly for someone to say, I’m proud of you.​​ When I do something good, I receive no acknowledgement. How can I let foster youth know, I’m proud of you – you pushed through and made it. Most of us see a glass ceiling – we must show others that ceiling doesn’t exist. Im always going to have time for those that are like family. I’m also good at weaving out people that don’t support me." She fought to prove she isn’t discardable. “You are worthy. Whatever that looks like to you...With all the odds against us, we still found a way to make it through.”
While a young adult, Johna had a long period of time where she was figuring out her housing situations, trying to survive between couch surfing and total houseless-ness, Johna traveled. During this turbulent moment of her life, she decided for herself that the best thing to do was get up and go away. While traveling, Johna would lose her grandmother. There was nowhere to turn. She was going through it and wanted to talk about it all. She had a lot inside she needed to let out. A place to release it all. She wrote. She wasn’t in control of what happened to her, but she had control over how she responded. It has been through the moments of joy and also the moments of total loss that have helped Johna strengthen her vulnerability in her writing and performances, “I stand in my truth and I’m honest about my life. I’m not ashamed of who I am. I’m proud of everything I overcame and will never forget where I came from.”
Johna's adventures took her through Africa and Brazil---it was in Ghana where she came to a realization that helped her enter a deep moment of self-reflection: “it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, there will always be a neighborhood considered under-resourced. You have the rich, the mid, and the have-nots. I knew I had to make a song about the people. About my people.” Having the opportunity to travel and reconnect with a part of her life that was removed, has been her largest inspiration to this day.
“I met the most beautiful people with the biggest hearts. They were very communal. The whole block threw a party to welcome me! They made food with resources they could barely afford. From the moment I arrived, they showed me love.” Although she was thousands of miles away from the land that we was raised on, she felt at home in Ghana: “We have our traumas but when it comes to gathering, to community, to coming together - we do it very well.”
She spent a lot of her trip trading stories of trauma, realizing that a shared experience takes place across the largest oceans in the world, the marginalization experienced in Ghana is reflected in the neighborhoods of her Los Angeles experience: “Their stories sounded just like mine. Gun violence, police brutality, broken dreams, sad stories – but they are still kings and queens.”
Make it Out, Johna’s most popular track, that still blows people away every time she share it, was born after Johna’s trip to Ghana. In her writing, she highlights the experiences of those in the ghetto, worldwide. Her performances are what inspire her to get back into the studio and keep creating. “It’s bigger than just my ghetto, it’s universal. This song paints a nice picture. Yes, things happen in the ghetto but we are all Kings and Queens in our own right.” Using her words to speak a sense of hope back into the community that has been removed of so much.
Johna's music and performances are more than just entertainment, they are actually moments that her listeners should use to reflect and activate a mentality shift. Make it Out, another one of her popular pieces, is about letting people know they aren’t meant to be boxed into living a certain life of self-destruction, there’s more than just one way, more than what they have been forced to accept, "This song is about embracing where you come from, no matter how ugly, harmful, or destructive the outside world might rate it.” Johna reminds us time and time again, that we can find beauty in the struggle, without ever needing to romanticize the pain. “I take a stand for every ghetto in the world. We are the ones counted out but we are also the ones that hold a lot of talent.”
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Johna does not want to become boxed into a single category of music making, never ever wanting to be only be known for creating "sad" music. She is is working on tuning into joy, talking about fun stuff, but also keeping it real – she has yet to record these lines but is working on making the time for it. The joy is all there and now she wants to focus on getting it out and sharing these feelings. “I want to spend my 30’s traveling, dropping music, just doing what I love. And my music is going to change as I feel better...I spent my 20’s surviving, and now that I know what I love, I’m going to do it. I’m on some conscious shit.”
Johna’s purpose is clear and she goes out of her way to help her people, especially foster youth. In her conversations, she makes sure to ask what they might need. “How are you really doing? What do you want to do? What do you need?” It is of course in her nature to check in through lyrics, but she is a master at adjusting to her community’s needs. Even post performance, she shares her raw thoughts and breaks down her lyrics so people can understand where she’s coming from. Johna does not gatekeep opportunities, contacts, or resources because she believes if something is meant for someone, it will find them. If her sharing something means getting someone a little closer to where they’re meant to be, her purpose is driving. She does it for her people.
“I have a purpose. I’m here to show people that when you own your story, when you own 100% of who you are, you can do anything you put your mind to. Every time I pick up that mic, I’m letting people know the mold can be broken. I’m letting people know it’s ok to be you. I’m letting my family know they can do what they want to do. Go for it.
I am going to use this struggle so I can help others. Putting my foster youth on whenever I can. I genuinely want to help others, even if it means getting stabbed in the back. I’m gonna show up because I know this is bigger than me. It’s not about me, it’s through me. The message is meant to be delivered through me. I’m gonna do it as me so whoever needs to see that, can also believe in themselves. They can do it too.”
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